22 March 2012


Feb 2008 + June 2009 - pre acne
April 2011 - Acne level 4 (Right before it got real bad. There were no pictures during that time)

June 2011 - healing process
March 2012 - Almost in the clear!
It's crazy how something as dumb as acne can mess with your life. Almost two years ago my skin started changing... blemishes, zits, blackheads, flaking skin, you name it, I had it. Without ever dealing with skin issues, I wasn't sure what I should do. I went to a few doctors and I wasn't getting noticeable results, so I started down an extremely unsuccessful road of alternative 'fixes'. I tried exercising, hot yoga, diets, every face wash under the sun, changed out shampoos, saw an aesthetician regularly, natural remedies, etc... nothing seemed to work and my face got worse and my insecurity was at a record high. It got to a point where a 'good day' was any day I could see a patch a skin that wasn't red. I know it may sound lame to let something as small as zits take a toll on your life, but when there's something funky going on with your face, you know, that thing that people talk at and look at, the first thing anyone sees, it becomes a conversation piece. Below are just a few examples of fantastic conversation openers (not to mention the squinty eyed face that went along with the statement/quesiton):

- What happened? Are you eating too many potato chips?
- I think I know what's going on with your skin... You need a good boinking. 
- Are you eating a lot of sugar?
- What is that?
- Does it hurt? 
- Maybe you should just wash your face more often.
- You need to eat meat.
- Hey! Have you tried (insert every 'solution' under the sun)? 

Yes, I became the world's 'saddest bastard' (I apologize for the lack of a better term). When it got to a point where I couldn't go out to a shopping center without being stopped by strangers handing me samples, asking questions and slapping goop on my face, I felt defeated. I stopped going out, photos of me on the blog were rare, couldn't find a job, didn't make any effort to make friends and gave up on finding a solution. Really, I shouldn't have let it get to that point. In the large scope of things, this was quite petty, but I let my emotions spiral down the pit of pity.

I decided to take action again about a year ago when my 2 yr old nephew asked me why I had boo boos on my face followed by "are you hurt?" I laughed, I cried (yes, again) and then I found Dr. Carr. Thank God for hair salons and Brandi's clients, Pam and Joseph for giving me the recommendation. 

My first visit she took a good look at me and said the thing I dreaded most, "accutane." Turns out I had the worst case (level 4) of adult acne one can have and any solution was going to be pretty intense. Yes, Accutane has done good things for some, but I knew it wasn't for me. There was a good chance that after I introduced my body to this drug, that my skin would not react. With that in mind and the good chance of losing my hair, AND all the other many dark side effects, I felt very strong about finding another solution. The Dr. gave me a month on plan b and if there was enough improvement, we would drop the Accutane option. While walking out the door I called Brandi and told her everything. Of course I was thinking plan b wouldn't work, I would take accutane, all my hair would fall out, I'd become depressed and be left bald and still have acne and scars. Brandi on the other hand told me to calm down, give it a month and pray. I prayed so dang much. I got home and called everyone in my family and asked them to pray too. It had been a long couple of years and I needed something to change. It was an emotional time for everyone around me. They saw how much this acne thing completely changed my personality and they wanted the old confident social  Kelly back.

My skin took a strong turn for the better after that appointment. We found the right combination of antibiotics, medication wash, toner, night gel, monthly extraction visits, chemical peels, positive attitudes and prayer. It's been about a year now and I'm almost in the clear! 

I'm not writing this for any reasons other than to share my experience with acne with you. It sucks. I still battle breakouts and at some point will need to treat my scars, but I'm not walking around with doom and gloom on my shoulders everyday. 

Thank you to everyone who sent prayers and positivity my way and thank you Dr. Carr and folks making medicine.



Maddy said...

I have had moderate acne since I was 9 years old. I tried EVERYTHING short of Accutane because I didn't trust it either. I did Differin, any other cream there is, my parents even spent $1200 on blue light treatments, which worked for about a month and then made my skin WORSE. Eventually I was on antibiotics (oral ones) that worked great, but I had to stop them when I went on birth control. Now I use two creams a night (Retin A generic and Benzaclin) and they work wonders!

Dealing with acne can be so frustrating, expensive, and embarrassing. You're definitely not alone. Thanks for sharing!

nancy said...

WOW! this is such a great post... I have quite mild acne now that I'm in my 20s (nothing in my teen years, strangely), but I can understand the frustration and the despair that having constant red bumps and marks and scars can bring. my skin is very pale and very sensitive. I've tried lots of facewashes (namely the ones with harsh chemicals, that my skin ALWAYS gets used to anyway), drinking litres upon litres of water, and diets and nothing seems to do the trick for good.

I'm so happy for you! clear skin is such a simple, but influential thing :) congrats! one question: will you need to do these treatments on a permanent basis?

Unknown said...

I totally feel for you! I remember going through this period of my life and wondering what the hell to do! Girls would ask me those same questions, like I hadn't tried everything under the sun. I know you must be happy to be getting back to your beautiful self! My solution at age 17 was accutane. My friend and I both started at the same time, and neither one of us have had a pimple in 15 + years.. I know it has different ramifications for boys than girls.. If you ever want to talk to someone who has been through that, give me a ring.. I'll be glad to share my experience! :)

Layla said...

You have no idea how much I needed to read this...I'm having horrible adult acne problems right now, and I'm at a loss. I've switched shampoos, detergent, makeup, you name it. It just seems to get worse and worse, and the old standby that I've used since I was 13, Retin-a, is no longer even touching it.

My chest looks SO bad right now, people think I have a rash (I let them think it). I'm meeting a blog friend in person for the first time this weekend and I'm trying to figure out how I can pull off wearing a giant scarf in 80 degree weather to cover my chest. Photos of my face no longer exist...I refuse to allow them. Thank you for sharing your story, it really does help to know that others deal with this dreadful thing.

May I ask which face washes you use now? The ones I've tried aren't doing a darn thing. :/

Britta said...

This made my eyes water. You are beautiful no matter what. I'm glad it's gotten better. I miss you!

Anonymous said...

I had to cry while reading your post. I had pretty much the same situation which almost evolved into depression.

I got a prescription of contraceptive pill which is specially applied to fight acne (at least here in Germany). After one year my acne completely disappeared leaving craters and pigmented spots on my face.

This month I´ve started a fruit acid treatment which should eliminate the marks. It works really good so far.

Thank you for sharing your story! You are beautiful! :*


Paislea Elyse said...

this is such a wonderful post. i adore mmbb because of posts like this. you ladies are real and not afraid to show it.

kelly - as many before me have stated; you are beautiful. with or without acne. it's such a weird thing that people judge based off of appearance. i know that it's one thing to say 'i am more than the acne on my face' and then to have others treat you as such.

i never had problems with acne as a child or in my teen years. i am now in my twenties and occassionally see one here or there but nothing extreme. so i cannot say that i know how it feels or anything like that, but i'm sure that it was hard. and i'm so glad that you have figured out the way to make it better. because you have to feel good about yourself on the outside & inside in order to let that confidence shine.

great post. and always remember - you're gorrrrrrgeous!


AJ said...

Combinatorial therapy using Duac in the morning and Differin at night is almost 100% effective for moderate to pre cystic acne. I have recommended this approach to numerous people, mainly females and it has worked every time and relatively quickly. Most doctors will prescribe these medications individually; however numerous studies show their effectiveness in combination. The bad press regarding accutane is misjudged in my opinion and is often necessary for cystic acne. Face washes and alternative therapies have little or no impact on acne.

Shewearscrazywell said...

I am so there WITH you! I also have been up to that level four many times. Many, many times. I actually turn to Proactive. It has helped me manage it. I'll never be zit free as an adult...mine is caused by hormones...so I take birth control pills to balance my hormones or I start because of PCOS, which contributes to the scary all face consuming acne I get from time to time. I got really bad a little while ago when I stopped using the Proactive...now I just keep using it...don't get lazy about it...and I'm good...but every word...I totally understood! LOVE you beautiful lady...inside and out!!!! Hearts, Janna Lynn

Shewearscrazywell said...

I am so there WITH you! I also have been up to that level four many times. Many, many times. I actually turn to Proactive. It has helped me manage it. I'll never be zit free as an adult...mine is caused by hormones...so I take birth control pills to balance my hormones or I start because of PCOS, which contributes to the scary all face consuming acne I get from time to time. I got really bad a little while ago when I stopped using the Proactive...now I just keep using it...don't get lazy about it...and I'm good...but every word...I totally understood! LOVE you beautiful lady...inside and out!!!! Hearts, Janna Lynn

Little Tree Vintage said...

ugh having bad skin can be so detrimental to someone's emotional life. I know every time I break out I panic and feel awful, I'm sure you went through a really hard time but I am SO glad that everything is working out in your favor <3 you are beautiful no matter what though, i hope you know that!

beca said...

Thanks for sharing this. Really. It's so good to know that were not alone in dealing with skin issues. I had very similar skin experience and had my fair share of acid peels and topical creams and acutane was always looming. Thankfully my dermatologist wasn't quick to prescribe it and my acne finally cleared.
You're beautiful and every scar you may have is part of you and your journey. I am riddled with acne scars and have just learned to embrace them.

Mallory said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. It is such a small thing in the big picture of health, but I know first hand how tough of a battle it can be to feel gross and ashamed of how how your face looks. Still dealing with this damn skin battle daily. But man does it feel good to know I'm not alone!

Ryders mom said...

Kelly, I am so happy you posted this! It's so awesome because I know a lot of people can relate... mainly me haha :) you're beautiful inside and out and you deserve to feel that way! xoxoxoxo

Melissa at bubbyandbean.com said...

I already thought you were awesome... But now I think you're even awesomer. :) You are amazing for sharing this. And you're gorgeous either way, but I'm so happy for you that you were able to find a way to make it better.

You rock. Can't wait to work together on Pinpoint.


amanda said...

you are truely amazing for sharing this. it takes a strong person to share something so personal with a bunch of strangers. you have a good and beautiful soul that shines through.

best of luck!

janaetime said...

Thank you so much for sharing! It's rare to read something so real that truly matters to an individual. I've had really horrible acne since I was a teenager and just this week realized that I could go out of my house without wearing makeup and feel confident! It's been a long struggle, but I'm happy that with my new combination of treatments, I feel comfortable in my own skin again. I can definitely relate to you - the photos I see of myself from the past few years are tainted by my perception of my acne/scars. My true friends never minded, but it was definitely a struggle for me to face them each and every day. I'm so glad it's getting better for you!

Brandi Lisenbe said...

Kelly This is your sister here and i just cried again reading this bc I know how much it effected you! my heart still hurts for what that must of felt like. You are Brave and you are BEAUTIFUL. I hope to never see you cry and go through such pain physically and mentally.
Love you!
Big B

Anonymous said...

Hey Maddy, just an FYI, but that antibiotics/birth control thing is a total urban myth according to my doctor!

BuenoBueno said...

Dang, hearing from all y'all means so much! Thanks for sharing your personal stories with me and mmbb readers. I try to lighten that phase of my life by referring to it as 'character building'... eh? I'm so happy you all added to this post by sharing your own experiences. Made this 100 x's better.

Maddy - I'm glad you found a solution. You are right, dealing with acne is frustrating, expensive, and embarrassing.

Nancy - I'm not sure if visiting the dermatologist once a month will be necessary from here on out. After I focus on scar treatment, i'm sure I'll cut back, but I'll keep you updated. If you have any other questions, feel free to send an email :)

Jon - You are right, Accutane has done some wonderful things for people, I just knew it wasn't my solution. So happy it worked for you and you havent ever had to deal with a pimple again!

Layla - I feel for you. It just takes time and an open mid to find the right solution. Meeting people while going through this is a tough 'self image' battle, so just remember that other will not view you how you view yourself. We met our BFF Lonnie Webb in person while my acne was at an all time high and he's still our BFF today.

ps I started using Neutragena's benzoyl peroxide daily scrub one bp was 'over the counter' approved http://www.neutrogena.com/product/clear+pore+daily+scrub.do?sortby=ourPicks&refType=1


trianglewalks - thanks so much for sharing. Its crazy to hear all these different solutions for the same problem. We all are truly unique individuals. Good luck with the new treatments! I hope they work. Keep me updated.

paislea - Thanks so much! Whether it's acne or something else, we all have our own self image battles to fight. You are fortunate to not have delt with the mystery of acne, but I hope you know whatever your personal battle, you are beautiful and loved.

AJ - Thank for the medical input. I hope you dont think i was putting accutane down, I was just stating that I knew it wasn't for me. I know it's a good solution for some.

Janna Lynn - Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. I can not even image going through that cycle multiple times. you, my dear, are strong and beautiful!

Maria - Thank you! Acne is such a funny little crapper.

Beca - You are such an inspiration. Thank you. Every scar is indeed a part of the journey and a reminder of a battle overcome. I'm so fortunate to have ladies like you in my life. Good luck!

Mallory - yep! Just look over these comments... not alone. I do feel guilty on one hand for discussing what small issue this may seem to some, but it does effect a lot of people make and female and that does make it worth talking about. Good luck with your battle. I'm here for ya!

Rachel - Where on earth have you been? I've missed you! Acne blow. Especially adult acne because it lingers.

Melissa - Thank you! I can't wait to work together either! It'll be a fun journey and i'm glad you'll be a part of that.

Amanda - Thank you!

Jana - Dang, you sure did hit home. I remember the first time I felt like all i needed was some mascara and a little lip gloss. no extras. It's just a funny/shitty phase to go through. I do too have friends that say they never noticed, but it's burned in my memory. Good luck with your treatments!

B- it makes me tear up knowing that you teared up. oh lordy... Thanks for being there for me the whole time :)

anon- thanks for sharing.


Liz Kantner said...

I can't put into words how happy I was to see this post. Thank you so, so much for sharing. I have acne. It's not as severe, but I've tried just about every product out there to get rid of it and it's still here. It got worse about a year ago and definitely really hurts my confidence.

I work in advertising and am one of the youngest people at my agency. Having acne makes me feel so insecure. I hate people in pictures and when talking to someone I feel like they are staring at the marks on my face.

I've never really talked about this issue with anyone because I'm too embarrassed. I hope they just don't notice it. It's something that people don't talk about openly and I'm so glad you did.

Thank you! I feel much less alone.

Layla said...

Kelly - Thank you so much for replying! I'll buy that today. You never know! Might just work. Thanks again!

vania francesca said...

Thanks for posting this to own your faults makes you stronger and that much closer to conquer them. From a outsider looking in I feel you girls are good peoples..with warm hearts and no matter if you have acne or not that will always outshine imperfections.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you finally found something that worked for you. Not everyone does, but I wouldn't gloss over the fact that you prayed fervently and also you asked others to pray for you as well. Prayer is powerful when done with an open heart. Congratulations!

BuenoBueno said...

Liz Kantner - Yes, I feel it's partly our insecurity that makes everything worse, but yes, it completely blows when people stare at it while talking to you, tell you when you have a zit that's 'ready to pop' or when strangers ask you how you are caring for the issue. I have had all those things happen. You are definitely not alone. It's something a lot of adults struggle with. On a different note, congrats on the rad job!

layla - of course! I hope it works for you. Finding a solution is tricky.

Vania - Thank you so much for the kind words

Anon - Thank you, I'm glad too. Prayer is indeed a powerful thing and I'm thankful!


Anonymous said...

Very inspiring! I am prone to acne as well. After doctors and many cleaning solutions, I finally found what worked for me. Obagi Skincare Line. I haven't broken out in 2 years, but I use it twice a day everyday. I love it.
Best of luck to your acne solution and hope your skin gets clear and stays clear!! =)

Alex! said...

Gosh this brought me back! When I was 16 I started working at a fast food restaurant and my face literally exploded. I remember so vividly just crying to my parents that it wasn't fair and I knew it hurt them to see me like that. Then after a few rounds of antibiotics, benzaclin and a retinol cream, this SloOooOoowly got better.
The worst part was the waiting game. Wondering if you'll ever look normal again. I'm 19 now and I still have my scars but most people just think they're freckles. I still have my insecurities that people are staring harshly at my face and I don't think that will ever leave. And every time I get a pimple I freak out that maybe I'm entering a 3rd round (2nd round started my freshman year of college), but I definitely know I'm the person that I am today because of that. This "character building" has made me realize that I'm a lot stronger than I think.

P.s You are GORGEOUS :)
P.P.S Anyone struggling with this, stay strong! I know it feels like the end of the world, but life can always surprise you when you least expect it

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this! I think a lot of women suffer from acne and it's nice to read this and know it is not just you going through this.
With or without you are still super beautiful :)

morgan said...

Thank you for sharing this! I think a lot of women suffer from acne and it's nice to read this and know it is not just you going through this.
With or without you are still super beautiful :)

Jamie said...

wow you're so brave to post this! i went through a time like that too, a couple of years after college. i took accutane in high school before everyone knew about the side effects & it worked great for me, minus the depression it caused, amplified probably bc i was already depressed bc of my skin.

my adult acne cleared up mostly when i stopped washing my face twice a day & started only using cetaphil & cetaphil moisturizer. turns out i guess i was making it worse by being too harsh. i still break out of course, but not acne scale. i'm 32...i'll probably have pimples at 42 ;)

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled on your blog and wanted to give you a big hug. I wanted to also say that Accutane really works wonders for many people. I did the low dose antibiotics and topical gels for 2 years before finally doing Accutane and while it's pretty harsh while on it, my skin was blemish free within a year and 6 years later, still is. I remember that time of feeling so desperate and horrible about myself. You're not alone, sugar. And you look so gorgeous. I'm glad you found what works for you.

Violet Bella said...

thank you so much for sharing this. you are so brave and so beautiful. im so glad you found a solution that is working so you dont have to feel this way about yourself any longer, and you can get your old self back! it breaks my heart to know you had to deal with something like this for so long. big love your way...

Miki's scrapbook said...

Oh, I am so sorry you had to go through all this, Kelly! :/ My best friend had really, really bad acne and tried Accutane for almost a year. Not only did it not work for her, but she's been suffering some of the sides effect even today after over 5 years!!!

I am glad you're doing way better and wish you all the best ;D.


Terry Bayer said...

Wow! It is good that you still have the confidence to face your acne problem. That’s one of the best things to take out from this: never let acne stop you from living your life. There are a lot of procedures that can help resolve such problems, but it all starts with having a more balance lifestyle. I am glad that battle of yours is almost over. By the way, you are getting prettier as the days go by!

Judith Arends said...

It's been 6 months since you blogged about your acne. How is it by now? Did Accutane work for you? If it didn't, I suggest that you try to go for a laser treatment. There are 3 types of laser treatment: the ultrapulse carbon dioxide laser, erbium yag laser, and pulsed dye yellow light laser. Ask your doctor which of these treatments would be best for your case.

BuenoBueno said...

Anon - Thank you so much. I'm glad to hear you found something as well! I've never heard of Obagi Skincare Line, but I'll look into it. I always have friends asking...

Alex - Reading through your comment got my eyes all misty because I know that feeling. Scars will heal over time. I have a few craters on my cheeks and forehead, but the good thing is we are young and have young skin that heals a lot more. We have that going for us! haha. I still break out here and there, but it doesn't really bother me because it doesn't even begin to compete with how it was.

I'm glad to hear that the experience has made you a stronger person. We all need something to push us and challenge us to grow. Now you are in a position to help someone going through something similar.

Morgan - Thank you so much for the kind words. I was surprised by the response I got from this post. It's awesome reading all these comments from people who have gone through this and hearing what worked, what didn't and so on. community.

Violet Bella - Thank you! Big love right back at you!

Miki's Scrapbook - I'm glad to hear that accutane worked for your bf! I'm sorry to hear she's been suffering some of the side effects. Taking any kind of medication is always scary because you never know how your body will react. I hope those phase out and she can fully recover :)
Thank you so much!

Terry B - My Mom has always preached balance to me and Brandi. We get into super workaholic modes and we have to remind ourselves to do it all in moderation and keep the balance. I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you so much for the kind words and bit of wisdom!

Judith A - Thanks for checking in! I didn't end up going the Accutane route. I started out on a high dose of strong antibiotics (along with topical treatments and peels) and have been lowering that dosage slowly over the months. I still have that week here and there when I ignore my sense of balance and I get an explosion. I actually just had one. Since my skin is dark, that red spot takes a while to heal, so it can be frustrating. I appreciate your suggestions, I'll definitely ask my doctor about these to see if they are fit for me

Thank you so much for all y'alls stories, advice and comments. I love our community and it's nice to hear from y'all a know a piece of your life :)

Geoffrey Lelia said...

It's nice to see that you’re regaining your confidence back, Kelly. It has been 7 months since you have started treating your acne. I assume your acne is completely gone by now. Do you still use the antibiotics your doctor gave you? I suggest you go for a blue-light therapy. Basically, this treatment kills the remaining acne bacteria present on your skin. Why don't you ask your doctor about it?

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doris alonso said...

About almost 3 years back, I had acne and it's the worst thing that could happen to my skin since it affected me so much. It just gave me a real low self-esteem. I took some cure of my own, like some acne scar reduction and it worked. It's a bit slow but I understand that the process is not overnight.

Stephen Sanders said...

There are women or even men who have the most sensitive facial skin and that a little dirt can definitely give them people and become transformed into acne. It's just a good thing that there is a special and innovative acne treatment to remove and prevent it totally.

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Tayla Cudmore said...

Same thing happened to me. Acne is the worst thing that happened to my life for it gave me a low self-esteem. But it is good to have regained my skin's true state.

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Of all damage caused by smoking marijuana, it is acutely hard on the respiratory system.
A stationary Vaporiser uses power from the outlet and have generally
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For the smoker it keeps the hands in action producing the calm of smoking and
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The next vaporizer in the list is easy to use and portable.
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Perhaps not by the person taking that action the first time, but certainly by anyone
who's been down that road a time or two. Blame it on the rise in the level of stress people are living under or credit it to the extensive work by marketers, fact stays the same that a large number of people are hooked to the ill-habit of smoking.

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Anonymous said...

It also is forbidden which makes it all the more alluring to teenagers,
thus the low starting age for many people.
The Plenty can be described as a robust and powerful hand-held unit.
Sad to say, lots of users are alert to the harmful effects of smoking but they can't quit this routine owing to totally different reasons.

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Anonymous said...

The noise level of the horn is 82 decibels at 10 feet.
But people are quite ignorant while taking these drugs and painkillers.

Georgina Dickinson of "News of the World" reported
that Phelps was photographed smoking marijuana at the University of South Carolina in

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Amelia Vaux said...

I have been treating acne for weeks now. For me, the best treatment is facial. It will cleanse your pores and remove the dirt sucked in. There are certain chemicals that could be used to treat acne, but you can also make use of the natural remedies.

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Joy said...

Wow. Thanks so much for sharing! I had nearly perfect skin until I reached age 19 and then it just went to crap. I had the most extreme combination skin. Psoriasis and major acne. Like you I tried everything under the sun. Each new product would seem to work for a couple days until bam! I'd wake up one day and my face would look worse than ever. Long story short after about 4-5 years of total self-conciseness, I tried the oil cleansing method. I've been "washing" my face with olive oil ever since and I'm never going back! Glad you found what works for you! Thanks again for sharing!

Joy@ www.fortheloveofleaves.blogspot.com

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