Manvice With Darin Lee

Manvice is a post for our male readers, however, I do believe the ladies will get a kick out of it, too. It's not meant to be insulting; it's just a friendly thought about men, from a man.   

 Darin Lee

"You can be fat and you can be bald, you just can't be both."

Now I know what you're thinking, man-vice sounds like a freaky European sex toy, but it's not. It is just some good old fashion, unsolicited, advice for men. What qualifies myself to give said advice? Well, nothing really...other than I'm married, I have a full-time job, a full-time hobby, I can lift 100 pounds right over my head, I can drink just about anyone under the table, I can grow a gnarly beard and if you ask anyone close to me, I live hard. But the most important trait that qualifies me is, I am MAN!

In this week's posting, I will be talking about the quote above. For men losing their hair, it is very important to know what hairstyle best suits you, and if you are thinning or going full-on bald head. The best way to determine this is, first, if more than three people have told you to shave your head, that is a no-brainer -- shave your head! It should have been done a while ago. One less thing to worry about. If you are not sure about your hair status, ask your hair stylist what he/she thinks is the best hair style and/or products for you. No product will stop or reverse hair loss, but there are certain products out there that will postpone the inevitable. Ask about Rogaine and Propecia (no worries, you will not be the first to ask). Search for a good hair stylist. Once you find one, stick with him/her and trust them. A qualified hair stylist will lead you in the right direction; he/she has seen your hair in angles you will never see.

Now that your hair situation has been handled and you find you have some free time, WORK OUT! Push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups and lots of cardio. You are no longer attractive to the opposite sex by first glance. The key is to get them interested by the second go around. The second glance is where they notice how in shape (not to mention how strong) you look. Being in shape is not only crucial to your survival in the dating world, but in the professional world as well. It literally becomes survival of the fittest. Girls will picture you with your shirt off and your boss will think you are a hard worker. Do this and you will be successful in both facets. Also, get a sense of humor fast. Nothing puts off a woman or a boss more than a guy with no capacity to tell or understand a joke.

For those men that are lucky enough to turn thirty and still have all your hair intact, you should take a moment to rejoice. Know that the good Lord has smiled on your stupid head and you have been chosen to lead a life with all your hair. But you must also know that you are over-privileged and you will never know the burden and building of character that comes with a thinning hairline. In a perfect world, every man would go bald and every woman would have thick, lustrous hair down to their belly button rings. Trust me, the world would be a simpler place and less confusing. But seriously, the good thing you have going for you is that you can afford a little extra baggage around the mid section. One extra beer, another burrito, extra queso please, no problem. As long as you don't develop a breathing problem walking from your parked car into the taqueria you should be fine. There will be some woman out there, in which a full head of hair is her only prerequisite for dating you. And all women love queso. You should spend your time reading books, watching movies, learning a musical instrument, but most importantly, and I will say it again, develop and hone your sense of humor.

Good luck men, and I hope this helps. If we touch one soul and make a difference in that individual's life then it was all worth it, right? (Oh, I almost forgot, if you have lots of money none of this matters. Women will agree.)

-Darin Lee